November 1
Save Richmond's endorsements

Don Harrison
I have to admit that my standards for local politics are very very low at this point. All I'm looking for in a mayor is someone who isn't corrupt; someone who will be as interested in doing the job as he is in winning the election. So I'll be voting for Charles Nance. The guy doesn't take himself too seriously and actually calls you back when you have a question or a problem. Big deal, right? Unfortunately it is. But there are other attributes: Nance isn't outgoing mayor Rudy "Man of a Thousand Faces" McCollum, a definite plus. And he happens to be a resident of Richmond, which is kind of preferred for the job.

Now I do realize that a Mayor Nance wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as a Mayor Wilder. But haven't we had enough "entertainment" from City Hall of late?

Some things to consider about two council incumbents up for re-election:

Bill Pantele, in the 2nd District, is far from perfect but he's been the only member of city council to pay serious attention to the issues we've raised on the Save Richmond site. Take that—and his inexperienced opponent's scary contributor list—for what it's worth.

In the 8th District, Jackie Jackson was the only elected councilperson to say no to the meals tax hike last year. That decision took some serious guts on her part. Why isn't SHE going to be our next mayor?

Andrew Beaujon
I don't usually agree with protest votes. I believe the choice in the presidential election is between John Kerry and George W. Bush, and that anyone who thinks they're affecting anything by voting for Ralph Nader is kidding himself. But this year I'm so appalled by the choices for mayor that I'm voting for Silver Persinger. Not because I'm a socialist (far from it), but because I simply refuse to participate in the coronation of Doug Wilder. I don't trust Wilder to govern in any meaningfully different way—just look at his contributor list. We're gonna get four more years of Jim Ukrop getting whatever he wants.

I flirted briefly with voting for Rudy McCollum. He, like Bill Pantele, is learning how fleeting Ukrop's loyalty is. I was willing to look at Rudy as a changed man, and after he came to my doorstep and urged me to vote for him and contact him with concerns, I sent him a heartfelt email about how I feel there's a stopwatch ticking on my time in Richmond now that I have a kid. I'm not sending him to a school that sports a banner saying "DESTINATION: FULL ACCREDITATION." I never heard back.

I don't know anything about Nance, but it doesn't matter, because Wilder's election is just another foregone conclusion in a town lousy with 'em. So Silver's my man; may every vote for him show just how disgusted we are with politics here. And if for some reason Silver wins, life will at least be a lot more interesting.

In my own district, the 7th, I'm voting for Denise La-Verne Wise, because we couldn't possibly do worse than Delores McQuinn, a stooge's stooge who lost me when she voted for the meals tax increase. I'll vote against the incumbent in the school-board race, too: My guiding principle in this election is that things couldn't possibly get worse here than they are now.

October 31
Off-Keystone Kops
Apparently unfamiliar with the term "one-day story," the Richmond Symphony's management attempted to mount a press conference yesterday to give even more attention to a recent Richmond magazine story in which a number of musicians derided plans for a new symphony hall. We hear there was only one problem: They couldn't find enough pro-performing arts center musicians in the symphony to make it work. We also hear that an attempt to circulate a letter among the musicians denouncing the Richmond story was similarly unburdened by sympathetic parties.

We especially liked hearing that one of the VAPAF board members described Save Richmond as "street musicians" in a recent board meeting. This shows just how much attention the VAPAF brass is paying to critics of their upper-crust-pleasin' white elephant. In case you're wondering who we actually are, this link oughta sort you out. Please note, Mr. Blueblood deDumDum, "street-level" music and "street musicians" are two different things. The former is a somewhat unfortunate Richard Florida term for the kind of music that, unlike classical music, lots of people like. Some notable examples of this are: country, bluegrass, rock'n'roll, death metal, and electronica. "Street musicians," on the other hand, are musicians who perform on street corners for tips. Examples of this include the Andean pan-flute dudes who haunt subways in real cities around the world and that guy who plays the glasses in Old Town Alexandria. While some of the finest "street-level" musicians have "played outside" or "busked," some classical musicians have been known to do the same thing, to do something called "earning" money. That's what you have to do when you don't live on the interest of money one of your ancestors made.

Finally, does anyone know if there's any truth to the rumor that VAPAF decided not to take the aluminum siding off the Thalhimer's building before it started demolishing it because the building's really quite beautiful underneath? We gotta hand it to Brad Armstrong, the architect of so many piles of rubble downtown: He is a master of unintended metaphor.

October 29
The Richmond Paradox
It's that time again, civics buffs. The city of Richmond is bringing yet ANOTHER pricey expert lecturer to town in order to talk up "diversity," "openness" and "21st Century thinking." We'd advise all citizens of Richmond who already live in the current century day to duck and cover. It's going to be a bumpy, if familiar, ride.

"Rewiring Our Brains for the Future: Telling Richmond's New Story" is the title of Leadership Metro Richmond's annual Fall Leadership Conference, to be held Nov. 5 at the Richmond Marriott. The featured speaker, Dr. Jennifer James, a "cultural anthropologist who is an authority on cultural change, diversity and marketing intelligence," will be speaking on the topic of how to "Think in the Future Tense." Check this out: It will only cost $100 a ticket for you clueless Luddites to find out firsthand about such exotic "big city" realities as horseless carriages, flip-flops, gay people, downtown coffeehouses and popular music.

We don't like to sound like a a bunch of naysaying gadflies, but those of us who already drink coffee outside of the house, use computers, and don't have problems with gay people should be wary, because whenever one of these "youth-culture-diversity" proponents is invited by the city's cultural and political elites to speak publicly of tolerance and accountability, things have a tendency to get decidedly less tolerant, markedly less open, and even more numbingly restrictive around this little Civil War time capsule. Save Richmond calls this unusual regional phenomenon the Richmond Paradox—but you may wish to call it the same old bullshit.

Dr. Richard Florida's ballyhooed appearance at the Greater Richmond Partnership's 2003 economic conference—speaking about the importance of youth, tolerance and alternatives to what he later called Richmond's country club government— spurred attending business leaders and politicians (such as Jim Ukrop and Mayor Rudy McCollum) to squeal with glee. Boss Ukrop's first question to the visiting big city professor was, "Where do we spend money to make this happen?" As for Mayor Rudy, he stood up after the presentation and genuflected. Although it was hard to make out exactly what he was saying through all of the grinning and posturing, the mayor seemed to indicate that he was enthusiastic enough about Dr. Florida's overall message that he wanted to marry it.

In the days that followed, Ukrop and Mayor McCollum got busy indeed. The grocery store magnate decided to spend money—YOUR money—by bullying an increased city meals tax onto Richmond restaurants, clubs and for-profit entertainment in order to fund an opera house and symphony hall that would cater exclusively to the entertainment whims of his rich old conservative pals. Nevermind that Dr. Florida himself was quoted as saying that this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

The rest is history.

Meanwhile, Rudy McCollum and his PayGo pals on city council were busy "thinking in the future tense." They barely waited two weeks after Florida's visit to pass a damaging and unnecessary security ordinance on live music venues (for those of you with unwired brains, live music venues are where young people often "hang out" and "have a good time")— a law later deemed unconstitutional. Mayor Rudy then announced that Mr. Ukrop's meals tax hike to fund an unstudied, elitist downtown opera house was so good, so damn TASTY, that he would hold up the vote on it as long as necessary to make sure it passed. Never mind that Rudy himself would sound ignorant of the financial details of the very proposal that was steering through council.

The tidal wave of tolerance that Richmond unloaded in 2003 felt so darn correct to the powers-that-be that they have been on overload this year. The 2004 economic conference featured another prominent national youth and diversity advocate, Rebecca Ryan. The status quo's thoughtful response to Ryan's message of youth, new ideas and community diversity was artful in its response, breathtaking in its scope.

Just in the past year: "Richmond's New Story"? Sounds like the same old spiel to us.

October 27
Shock! Horror! A cultural Renny-saunce!
The Richmond Symphony issued a press release today about the Richmond magazine article, which we are going nuts about not having time so far today to go out and buy!
RICHMOND SYMPHONY OUTRAGED AT MISREPRESENTATION

Richmond, VA (Tuesday, October 26, 2004) - The Richmond Symphony issued the following statement today:

"The entire Richmond Symphony organization is outraged by the impression created by an article in the November issue of Richmond Magazine that its members are not in favor of the Virginia Performing Arts Center project. It deplores the tactic of quoting so-called sources at the Richmond Symphony for anonymous comment, without the courtesy of inviting comments from members of the Board, management or orchestra on the same subject matter who would have been perfectly prepared to be named and to have been quoted, on the record, to voice the organization's full support of this initiative. It is inexcusable that the official position of the Richmond Symphony should be so misrepresented, and we utterly condemn the false impression that the writer of the article has created as a result.

"The Richmond Symphony is very proud to be a major partner with the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation to create the Virginia Performing Arts Center, one that is so vital to the regeneration of the city center and to the future health of the performing arts in this city. We are wholly committed to its success and absolutely refute any suggestion otherwise. Specifically, we wish to reject certain statements in the article as unrepresentative of the Symphony's position, and to make clear that: "Since the Richmond Symphony was founded in 1957, the life of this organization has been dedicated to serving the Commonwealth of Virginia - and the citizens of Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Hanover in particular - by contributing to the quality of life through entertainment, education and economic development. The Virginia Performing Arts Center will enable us to do that better than has ever been possible before.

"The Board of the Richmond Symphony unanimously resolved in 2003 to work as a partner with the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation to bring the Virginia Performing Arts Center into existence. We are totally dedicated to that task and will not rest until it is complete."

Arthur S. Brinkley III President

Mark Russell Smith Music Director

David J.L. Fisk Executive Director
Perhaps if Brinkley, Russell Smith and Fisk were as outraged that the symphony is going to spend the next three and maybe more seasons playing in church basements, or that it won't even have first pick of evenings at the Music Hall when booking the symphony's season, they wouldn't have to summon such righteous indignation. We've been saying this for a long time, but if you flatten all dissent, it's gonna come back and bite you on your ass. We're willing to bet the symphony brass and VAPAF have completely ignored these complaints until now. This keeps happening with the Performing Arts Center, and we're wondering when VAPAF's board is gonna reconsider this management model. If not, they can look forward to seeing articles such as the one that's got them this het up until the project finally dies with no public support.

And one more thing: Why aren't any symphony musicians quoted in the press release? We'll bet we know....

October 27
Renny and the nyets
Sorry it's been a while since we last posted—all we can tell you is that babies plus freelance writing equals slow bloggin'. Plus there hasn't been that much going on. Until yesterday. The Chesterfield Observer just reported that the Chesterfield county board is going to vote against the hotel-tax increase the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation has been pursuing. Renny Humphrey, the board's swing vote, has decided against it.

Because this vote dooms VAPAF's tax increase and by extension any chance of the foundation meeting its fund-raising targets, expect some serious screw-turning on the part of Jim Ukrop and Booty Armstrong. Perhaps a Joe's Market in Humphrey's backyard? Well, as Bill "Sweatin' Bullets" Pantele will tell you, cooperating with Ukrop is no guarantee he'll support you later on.

The Observer article calls Save Richmond a "group of loosely organized artists and bloggers who oppose the proposal," and quotes our friend Brad Armstrong from VAPAF as saying "They're opposed to a lot of things...[but] everyone has a right to express his opinion." With his lordship's permission, then:

Opinion No. 1: We are opposed to men tucking their polo shirts into their khakis. Further, we are opposed to salmon colored polo shirts, especially when worn with a black belt.

Opinion No. 2: We are opposed to poorly studied, exorbitantly expensive plans that despite Brad's protestations, do appeal only to "the upper crust" (thanks for the phrase, Brad!)

Opinion No. 3: We are especially opposed to the Times-Dispatch giving VAPAF FREE advertising space to flog this fiscally irresponsible plan. Where's our free full-page color ad, holmes?

Finally, we've let our subscription to Richmond magazine lapse (don't feel bad, we've also forgotten to renew Lucky, much to the wife's irritation), but we understand from one of our many sources deep within the VAPAF orbit that the Richmond Symphony management is "freaking out" about an article in the November issue and scrambling—unsuccessfully so far—to find a musician to refute it. The piece isn't online, but its dek reads:
Hands Out
The Virginia Performing Arts Foundation has an ambitious plan to create a new multipurpose music hall, revamp the Carpenter Center and renovate other performance spaces. The total project cost is estimated at $168.5 million. They could lose $15 million from the city if they don't meet a $93 million fund-raising goal by July 1. Can they make it? And even if they do, does the city really need a new symphony hall?
We'll be heading out today to buy a copy. Think we can find one at Ukrop's?

October 12
Run Silver, run!
Our jaws hit the floor in the doctor's office today as the TV news announced the candidacy for mayor of someone who looks for all the world like a serial killer. Seriously, we kid, we kid. (Don't hurt us, Silver!) Our pal Silver Persinger has been tirelessly attending every public meeting of every city government body for the past year, so he's got more firsthand experience than most people in the race, and while our macro politics aren't the same, we don't see any way that his candidacy won't enrich the dialogue of what so far has been a less than thrilling election. Check out his website, drop him a line and see if he's the candidate for you.

Also in commendable local news, John Murden emailed us to tell us about Church Hill People's News, a local news aggregator blog that he set up. It looks great, John! He hopes to enlist more news contributors, and advertising rates are v-e-r-y reasonable.

Finally, we can't let this pass by without comment: the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation took out a surely inexpensive—given that the foundation is counting on tax dollars to save its ass—full-color ad in Sunday's Times-Dispatch to coincide with what we hope was a rollicking good time at the "Family Cultural Faire [sic]" it held in Woodlake this weekend. We don't know who's in charge of spelling there, but we do know that someone who plays a flute is not a "floutist." Really makes you feel good to know the future of classical music in this city is in such good hands.

October 7
Swift Creek Residents for Truth
What an enchanting morning Cynthia C. Elizabeth Gates, CMCA®, PCAM®, had recently. Following an email from Judy Ford, vice president of the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation, the Woodlake community manager met with Ford and our good friend Brad Armstrong, and she's now very enthusiastic about the proposed performing arts center, which she as she understands it will cost $15 million dollars.

You can read this tale on page six of Life on the Lake, the Woodlake newsletter (download a 1.2 MB scan of it here), which this month is just chockablock with content provided by Brad Armstrong and the friendly folks at the VAPAF. Why is a man paid $300,000 a year to raise money for an arts center focusing so intently on a neighborhood association 22 miles away? As we reported on September 10, leading to stories in Style and the Times-Dispatch (you're welcome, guys!), Woodlake is in a part of Chesterfield County represented by County Supervisor Renny Humphrey, who hasn't made up her mind on how she'll vote on a tax increase VAPAF desperately needs to hold onto its dream of building a poorly researched, outrageously expensive performing arts center closed to all but the least popular kinds of music.

Brad's claims in this newsletter are almost breathtaking: There's the old saw about having raised $48 million (read down for the truth on that, and remember that even that $11.6 million figure Style reported yesterday doesn't account for the costs of running VAPAF over the past three years), but he also breathlessly paints a picture of a vibrant downtown core anchored by a convention center surrounded by surface parking lots and, of course, the arts center.

"The new Performing Arts Center is but one of the pieces of the revitalization of downtown," Brad gushes, citing the Hotel Miller & Rhoads (currently on hold) and a new Federal Courts Building as evidence of a city on the rebound. Not shops, not restaurants, not nightlife—a courts building. The lunchtime scene should be wild. Brad also goes on to call Richmond's performing arts facilities "subpar" and the architects and consultants who approved this plan "first class." The former may come as a surprise to anyone who's attended performances at UR's excellent Modlin Center, and it's definitely a surprise to the architects and consultants, who in the sole study done on this project (which DID NOT recommend a new symphony hall, by the way), said it wasn't necessary to take the Modlin Center into account when studying performing arts facilities in Richmond, because it was at, and we quote, "UVA."

That's the least of the problems with this center. From conception to...well, it's pretty much stuck in utero, the proposed performing arts center has been mired in a swamp of half-truths, half-assed research and outright deceptions. Now Brad Armstrong is taking his show to Woodlake, putting on a "Woodlake Family Cultural Faire" (apparently the coming renaissance of culture will not extend to spelling) this Sunday from 5:30 to 7:30 in Woodlake's East West Family Park. There will be performances by Encore, the Latin Ballet and Susan Greenbaum (who really ought to know better; this is very disappointing, Susan). We can't urge Woodlake residents strongly enough to find out more about this issue—of course, we believe our site is an excellent place to start—and get all the info before they pressure their representative on the County Board to vote for a tax increase to keep this project rolling.

October 6
No money, big problems
VAPAF CEO Brad Armstrong might want to stop quoting Style Weekly in his promotional materials: Today the estimable Scott Bass reports that fund-raising for the center is in trouble. This isn't news to regular readers of Save Richmond, but we hope it'll encourage our friends and neighbors (and fellow voters) to give some thought to what's happening in Richmond's downtown, which we emphasize belongs to all of us.

Bass reports that of the $48.2 million Armstrong claims to have on hand (depending on who's asking him, the answer changes), VAPAF has in fact $11.6 million. That seems to square with our info on the subject.

If this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, consider the following. If those of us who work, pay taxes, and live in Richmond don't start calling business leaders like Armstrong, Jim Ukrop and Booty Armstrong on their never-ending river of bullhockey, our downtown is going to be beyond help for many years to come. And won't that just look smashing in 2007, when the Queen of England passes by on 64? Don and I take a lot of crap for being "gadflies" and "outsiders," but like most of you we're just two dudes who care deeply about what happens to Richmond. That's why we're gonna keep hammering on this issue and on anything else that affects average folks who love this place and love music. This is our town, too, dammit, whether we own a freaking grocery store or not.

September 30
Toys and taxes
Andrew writing: Okay, first off, I have to tell you I'm near-ecstatic about baseball returning to D.C., even if it means my Mets fandom is about to become complicated. The Washington Post, typically, has excellent coverage of the whole shebozzle, including an examination of the deal that brought the Expos to D.C. (And by the way, I'd like to voice my support for the name Washington Grays, not least because of the history, but also because the gear is pretty badass.)

The stadium-financing plan itself is pretty interesting: D.C. will sell $440 million in bonds. It will pay for these bonds mostly through taxes on the biggest businesses in the District as well as "hot dog taxes" within the stadium. About 18 percent of the bonds are expected to be paid for by rent paid by whoever ends up owning the Senators/Grays/Expos. That's lower than the league average, but the city's willingness to chance it is probably what won it the team, though there was no way in hell MLB was gonna move a franchise to Dulles, no matter what the backers of that plan say.

The redoubtable Sally Jenkins takes a dim view of the plan, relying heavily on Roger Noll, whose book Sports, Jobs, and Taxes: The Economic Impact of Sports Teams and Stadiums should be required reading for anyone involved in city planning. Noll's research showed that stadiums rarely, if ever deliver the economic benefits they promise, citing the example of Arlington, Texas' deal for a new stadium put together by a bozo who went on to screw up much bigger things.

Jenkins' column does gloss over the fact that the D.C. convention center was financed in much the same way, and was actually paid off early. Not so fast, Richmond—D.C.'s convention center has the advantage of being in a city that people want to visit, a factor that apparently eluded our town fathers when they plonked that monstrosity on Broad Street. That was such a stupid idea that they decided to build a Performing Arts Center across the street to make the neighborhood more presentable.

And therein is the only analog to Richmond in this whole D.C. situation. (Contrary to the belief of many of the people who've charged themselves with bringing back downtown, few cities are analogous.) Noll told Jenkins that when you tax regular citizens to build things like this, "Basically, you're taxing people who make $30,000 a year to generate a toy for people who make $200,000 a year, and income for people who make millions of dollars a year."

Sound familiar?

Ultimately I think the D.C. thing is gonna work out. Unlike here, there are actually a couple people in local government up there who have more than two brain cells to run together. It's a region of 5 million people, many of whom, like me, grew up pining for a team to call their own. The Senators/Grays/Expos present a challenge to a casual fan, but I reckon within a few years people will be lining up to get their hearts broken by the team, just like I do every year with the Redskins.

September 26
The inevitable descent into parody
First off, Don's been doing a superhuman job trying to keep up with the mayoral campaign, and he's composing a set of questions for each candidate. Today he starts with Doug Wilder, who's attracted some national attention today with his bid for mayor—an AP story, as well as a Washington Post opinion piece that details Wilder's increasingly unpredictable behavior over the years.

Some questions for Mr. Wilder

Speaking of increasingly unpredictable behavior, we have to give it up for Brad Armstrong, who gave perhaps the strangest interview of his life to the Times-Dispatch over the weekend. In it, T-D reporter Will Jones does a great job of keeping a straight face as Brad bragged about his new hobby: driving past motels in Chesterfield at 7 a.m. to see whether any bikers are registered.

The piece ends with a particularly loathsome bit of bluster on Armstrong's part:
And what happens if the public funding doesn't come?

"It will slow us down. There's no question," Armstrong said. "What happens if the private money doesn't come? It's not a question of if [the arts center gets built]. It's a question of when."
This follows another bizarre display where Brad showed reporters another "spontaneous" expression of support (this following the $80,000 block party he threw to announce the tearing down of Thalhimers, which hasn't...quite happened yet, and the "little children uniting in support" dog and pony show he put on at a city council meeting last year), this time from some of the very same bikers:
At a briefing with reporters this week, Armstrong showed photographs of what he described as motorcycles lined outside the Comfort Inn on Midlothian Turnpike and bikers posing for a picture outside a Denny's on state Route 10 in Chester.
That's the way to sell this to a town that banned Howard Stern, Brad. Show them how the Performing Arts Center will bring in the Hell's Angels! We've said it before, but this man is worth every penny of the 300 grand in non-public money he makes each year!

September 13
First they take away Line of Fire, now this
The Fan's been a mess since David Paymer stopped running things there, but even more disappointing is the lack of any substantive debate (so far) between the candidates in this city's mayoral race. Hey, wasn't this supposed to be a historic local election? Thankfully, in the past few days there have been two debates and (at least) two additional FREE forums and debates are scheduled. By all means, attend these and ask tough questions of your next mayor:
...and need we remind everyone to register to vote!

September 10
Am I nuts
Or does Bradford from The Apprentice look like he could be Brad Armstrong's kid? Is he? Seriously.

September 9
This just in
Just received word that the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation, in a fit of fund-raising desperation, is planning a face-painting family fun day in the arts hotbed of Woodlake on October 10. "Why there?" you ask? Well, it just so happens that Woodlake is in the district of Renny Humphrey, the Chesterfield Supervisor who's the swing vote on the hotel tax increase that VAPAF will dissolve without.

Oh to be a fly on the wall.

INTERIOR, VAPAF TOWERS CONFERENCE ROOM

VAPAF EMPLOYEE 1

We could do a real study of the project, one that, you know, takes the audience of the Modlin Center into account.

VAPAF EMPLOYEE 2

Yeah! Then we could design a center that's realistically priced, maybe even one that attracts private investment!

BRAD ARMSTRONG
Speaking like Moe from the Three Stooges

Now listen here, you pinheads. We're not going to study this plan. We're going to paint a bunch of kids' faces so they look like lions and fairy princesses. Then Humphrey will have to vote our way.

Pokes Employee 1 in both eyes, knocks heads of both together like coconuts.


And...scene.

September 7
Richmond on the radio
There was an interesting piece on All Things Considered this morning about Richard Florida's creative class theory, and how Richmond in particular is pursuing this wily prey. It had good quotes from Lucy Meade at Richmond Renaissance and John Morand at Sound of Music, as well as from Florida himself, who called Richmond a place run by the "country club set."

Oddly enough, we were coming back from the airport yesterday and spotted a new billboard welcoming folks to town. The sign proclaims, alongside a photo of a smiling, presumably former homosexual (or a model who REALLY needs to start reading the call sheet) that "EX-GAYS PROVE: CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!" The group sponsoring the ad calls itself Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, or PFOX, in an attempt to really stick it to Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, or PFLAG.

Now, we're sure everyone who greeted Florida's theories enthusiastically a couple years ago winces when they pass this fine piece of moronitude (especially since it immediately precedes Wachovia's "Welcome to Richmond" billboard), but it kind of points out some of the limitations of our country-club government—isn't there anyone who can make a call and get this damn thing moved (to, say, Charles City)? God, we can't even do aristocracy right.

Finally, in case you missed it, here's The New Yorker's James Surowiecki on the commodification of convention space, or as he puts it memorably, the phenomenon that finds "cities are selling basically the same product: a giant empty space in a pleasant American burg." Or in our case, an unpleasant one.

Tomorrow: We're back! And...Booty Vs. Linux—the untold story!

August 7
Hindsight in advance
Will we look back and say, "All the signs were there"? Will we remember articles like this one, which breaks the story that the Virginia Performing Arts Foundation has less than $29 million on hand? That's considerably less than the $44 million VAPAF CEO Brad Armstrong has been claiming to have. And that $29 million isn't even money VAPAF actually, you know, has—it's "committed money," whatever that means.

Here's why we don't think it means much: Check out VAPAF's fiscal year 2003 IRS form 990, which just became available (download a 780k copy here). In it, we learn that as of this past February, VAPAF had $4,675,783. But not on hand: $3,330,415 of that is "pledges receivable." That's $1,345,368 cash on hand as of seven months ago. That's considerably less than $29,000,000, and it's sure as hell less than $44,000,000.

What could possibly go wrong? Other than that the city's letting these folks knock down half of downtown even though they don't have the money to build anything larger than a small Barnes and Noble (which, come to think of it, might be a better idea anyway).

Now maybe VAPAF has somehow managed to raise $42,654,632 in the past six months. But we kind of doubt it. One cost-cutting measure the foundation might want to consider is take a look at employee salaries. We see that Brad Armstrong received a nice little raise in 2003: Now he makes $260,772 per year, plus $26,077 in benefits. That's $286,849 a year to lie about how much money his group has.

Considering how much he's been able to do with nearly nothing, we'd say VAPAF's gotten its money's worth.

August 3
Better than fiction
So we've got a city manager who can't manage, a city council that wasn't elected legally, and a police chief who can't quite seem to investigate. This just keeps getting better and better!

In other news, casting for Cesspool!—the movie Don and Andrew are writing about our hometown's politics, continues apace. We've already cast Ted Knight for Jim Ukrop (though Don suggests Steve Martin since Ted Knight is dead and we're trying to keep costs down, but we just can't get past his pitch-perfect turn in Caddyshack) and Matthew Modine as Ukrop's unctuous assistant, Featherspoon. Here are a few more filled slots: We're taking suggestions for Delores McQuinn (we'd thought Jackée in a mid-career challenge, but it didn't feel right), Brad Armstrong, Scott Burger, Doug Wilder, Bobby Ukrop (Andrew's pulling for Randy Quaid), Gwen Hedgepeth, Al Thweat, and Mark Holmberg. Send them to the usual address.

August 2
Blind items leading the blind
Which head of a Richmond performing arts foundation has so much of the $44 million he claims to have on hand that he's empaneled a three-person staff and charged them with raising $42 million by next June? Watch your paycheck for updates on their progress!

Which performing arts foundation is looking into starting its own theater group? Since the group's original mission was to to provide a home for TheatreVirginia, a group that went kaput when it went multicultural, we hear plans to start a new, centrally controlled theater troupe are moving along quickly. No doubt it will present cutting edge works that reflect a certain grocery store owner's avant-garde tastes. No word yet on the reaction of the existing theater troupes in town that this foundation used to lend it credibility: Elegba, Theatre IV, Jazz Actors, and others.

Which music-scene advocacy group is about to be kicked out of the Alliance for the Performing Arts for not towing the party line?

~~~~

Note: A few weeks ago, we suggested that Dabney Coleman would play Jim Ukrop in a movie about Richmond's follies. We've reconsidered and cast Ted Knight instead (we know he's dead, but they can do amazing things with computers these days).


July 31
In case you were wondering
THIS IS THE WEIRDEST CITY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH

July 30
Tear-gas the creative class!
It seems that, though the police admit that: Well, it seems that all that adds up to...the cops did nothing wrong! Thank you, Andre Parker, for bringing accountability to Richmond. And thank you, city council, for your efforts to attract and keep young people in the city. That goal seems on the same track as your approach to the tourist trade (raise taxes on dining and hotel stays) and your approach to the arts (help people who've organized successful boycotts of entertainment that offends them to establish an arts center on the taxpayers' dime).

Of course, none of that may matter if it turns out that our city council is, in fact, entirely and not just partially made up of criminals. Any lawyers out there want to help us file a lawsuit claiming last year's meals-tax increase was, in fact fruit of the poisoned tree?

Really a banner week for River City.

July 27
Free advice
If you were running, say, a performing arts foundation that's been able to "raise" money only by raising taxes on the largely disinterested residents of your city, and you had to, say, push through another tax increase so you could hit your "fund raising" targets and thus actually get the money from your first tax increase, and there was one person in Chesterfield County who could scuttle the plan for the second tax increase, would you: If you answered c), you, too, are probably worth $285,000 a year!

In an email sent out to the proposed performing arts center's future constituents, Brad Armstrong says that Chesterfield County Supervisor Renny Humphrey is the tie-breaking vote in Chesterfield, which is considering approving the transient occupancy tax increase. The Virginia Performing Arts Foundation (VAPAF) desperately needs this tax to go through.

Brad says that VAPAF has "raised" $44 million so far. That's actually a lie. Twenty-eight million of that $44 million is meals-tax-increase money, which VAPAF will get if it hits certain fund-raising targets. But since it hasn't actually raised much money from any of the rich people in town (the few who've made pledges have not been forthcoming with them), the VAPAF has only received 11 million of that 28 million. The remainder goes back to the city—which totally doesn't need it, just look at how great the schools and roads are!

So how's he get to $44? Well, the Carpenter Center, we read in the Times Dispatch last year, has about $16 million on hand for renovations. Sixteen plus 28 equals...a big fat "truth enhancement."

But Brad's been lying for so long now, what's one more fib? His claim that his exorbitant salary doesn't come from public money does sort of raise the question where exactly the private money is. We can only get VAPAF's IRS forms going up to 2002 (oddly, they're not racing to get new ones out there!), so we don't know.

But we digress. We're somewhat flabbergasted that given the odds, Brad would gamble on harrasment of a public figure who's got his well-remunerated tuchus in her hands. And we just love the argument that by taxing entertainment and now lodging, we'll somehow increase tourism in a city that doesn't exactly have a lot of leverage in that department. Here's the email (though you'll note we're not publishing the supervisor's contact info).
Yesterday, Style Magazine did an article on the Transient Occupancy Tax. As you will recall, VAPAF has been working on an initiative to achieve around $15 million in regional public funding through a 1 % increase in the "Transient Occupancy Tax", which is charged to visitors who stay in area hotels. Last year, Henrico, Hanover and Chesterfield all passed resolutions asking the General Assembly to give them the ability to enact such an increase, and the General Assembly overwhelmingly did so. Now, it's time for the localities to actually enact the increase. Importantly, it's an "all or none" situation...if any one locality fails to pass the increase, then it won't happen anywhere. The Greater Richmond Hotel/Motel Association supports it, too.

The Style article is attached. It reports that the prospects for passage in Richmond, Henrico and Hanover are good, but that the vote in Chesterfield could go against us, largely because one of the supervisors (Renny Humphrey) is reconsidering her support. The other 4 supervisors are split 2-2.

You can help. Here's how:

1. Renny has historically been a supporter of the arts, and the impact that the arts can have on the quality of life, particularly for children. She is certainly under some pressure from opponents of our project, and she needs to hear from all of the people in Chesterfield who support it.

2. Please ask your constituents (Board members, subscribers, supporters, friends) who live in Chesterfield (and particularly those who have her as their supervisor) to contact Renny and voice their support for the Performing Arts center and for the small increase in the transient occupancy tax as a way for our region to help fund it.

Renny B. Humphrey, Supervisor
[ADDRESS DELETED BY SAVE RICHMOND]

Home: [DELETED BY SAVE RICHMOND]
Voice Mail: [DELETED BY SAVE RICHMOND]
Fax: [DELETED BY SAVE RICHMOND]
e-mail: [DELETED BY SAVE RICHMOND]


3. Please have them copy me on letters, e-mails and it would even be helpful to know how many people have made calls to her.

4. Make sure they understand that :
- The performing arts center will benefit every citizen of Chesterfield (50 % of Chesterfield citizens already come downtown for performing arts events at least once a year!).
- This funding mechanism does not cost county taxpayers a penny. The transient occupancy tax is paid by visitors, many of whom will result from more, larger conventions, which will result from a revitalized Broad Street.
- The Greater Richmond Hotel/Motel Association supports it (although not all hoteliers in Chesterfield do.)


Improved quality of life, at no taxpayer cost, supported by the industry affected. Not a bad story.

Thank you in advance for your help. It's important.
Brad

Virginia Performing Arts Foundation
111 Virginia Street
Richmond, VA 23219
(804) 327-5750
www.vapaf.com

July 20
Taser guy for mayor!
"I know in my heart what the truth is," Smith says. "Taser hasn't killed any of these people."
—Taser CEO Rick Smith, quoted in a CNN story about how his company has misrepresented the weapons' deadliness
Rick Smith, you are a Richmond guy at heart. We know you live in Arizona, but as we've seen already this year, the Richmond residency rule is a minor inconvenience. Dude, you can make it here! For instance, after the British government studied your products and declared them unsafe, you sent out a press release saying:

"It is not Taser International that says Taser is not to blame. It is the medical examiner's opinion in every single case across the country."

But then, an Arizona newspaper found you relied on "media accounts and anecdotal information" to make that statement. One particularly pesky reporter looked into the information behind your claims and found medical examiners who felt that, in fact, your product had killed people. So then you said:

"There is no penalty for a coroner to be overly broad. These guys deal with the whole broad spectrum of what can go wrong in the human body. Am I going to expect that they are going to be right 100 percent of the time? No."

We love this guy! And we love that his products (here, read another report on them from a small newspaper in New York City) will soon be in the hands of Richmond's police force! We're sure that Chief Andre Parker is completely reassured by Smith's claims to the contrary—after all, who knows more about a product: the guy trying to sell it to you or someone unable to verify his claims?

This is how we do business here! Hey Chief! Call up Jimmy Ukrop and ask him! He'll tell you Tasers are safe. That's more than enough research, but maybe to hush up those meddling liberals, you might wanna ask Taser to do some research that, like, totally proves beyond a doubt that its products are safe. That would the Richmond way.

And Rick! We need you in 2004! You've got the right stuff, baby! Anyone who, when confronted with facts, says "I know in my heart what the truth is" has a seat with his name on it waiting for him at 900 E. Broad.

Note: Apologies for the extended absence. Save Richmond will be publishing sporadically this summer while we learn to diaper and gear up for the fall political season. Also, Andrew has agreed to mow Brad Armstrong's lawn for two months to get back in his good graces, and Brad's footman is being totally mean to him and making him do certain parts over and over again, which is really eating into his spare time.

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